Give Me A Lever And I Will Move the Observable Universe

Lane had to be one the worst managers they ever got at the Neptune.

One of the funnier things I ever saw happen was when the most attractive candidate (who else would Lane pick?) who was running the projector had a problem. She threaded up and started the film normally, but the image was not centered and reached over off the screen.

A janitor and another dude, both reasonably big guys, volunteered to help out and were soon wrassling with the projector, the huge, operating, cast iron base tipping and sliding a bit as they worked at it.

I was out in the booth selling tickets. I was the most experienced projectionist there that day, but Lane gave the position to the cutie who had little training. One of the concessionaires was watching through the curtain and saw the whole image tipping and moving, and a curious saw wave looking thing over to the side, all moving around and jumping, and figured "that can't be right!" and came out and got me.

As I came in and ran up the ramp I saw the image tip and fall back through the curtain. Awesome, if scary! The sound track was clearly visible, a vertical bar that thickened and flickered if there as any sound. The fix for this sort of thing was always in the aperture, that little square metal window right at the light focus next to the film that determines where the light is cut off. It should always cover the sound track.

I ran on up to the booth and in, and told the boys to step away from the projector. Moving up beside the projector and opening the cover over the film path I reach in to the aperture and pull out the removable frame which was loose, clean it, and put it back in until it locked in place. Now the image was properly framed and the sound track was hidden, but it was way over to the left, partially off the screen.

I stepped to the back of the booth and picked up the funny looking fat club, put it under the rear of the projector and lifted and levered the base back maybe a quarter inch. Dropping the club and moving it back, then up and to the left again I did another quarter inch. It took 10 or 12 passes to undo the 3 inches and line it back up in the center of the screen at the front of the auditorium.

I didn't say much, just left the club and walked back out of the booth, down the ramps and out to the box office.

Paul's Last Day at the Neptune

Paul was the projectionist a few weeks into the run of the Rocky Horror Picture Show on a Saturday night. For some reason the RHPS was left on 5 twenty minute rolls, requiring frequent changeovers and introducing sequence errors as a possibility.

Paul and a couple of friends headed up to the booth, and after a couple of minute Paul came back down and got 3 beers. I went out and started selling the house out and as the first reel started up Paul nipped back down stairs and grabbed another 3 beers, heading back up to the projectionist booth up the ramps and through the dark balcony.

As I came and finished counting up, maybe 20 minutes into the film, I heard the crowd going wild. The wrong scene had started: Paul put on reel 3, not reel 2, and instead of the opening notes of the time warp as Brad and Janet kick the tires and head over to the castle (castle?) we had Frank staring into the camera in full bustier mode, "what may be the rain..."

Paul later told me he couldn't figure out the ruckus for a moment - focus was tight, frame was good, sound is OK - then Rosie came running in and said "you put on the wrong reel, you skipped the time warp!"

Oops. Rule number 1: take care of yourself. Paul turned off the motor on the projector that had the wrong reel and headed over to lock the door so that the freaks didn't break in. As luck would have it, the reel was on the projector that didn't have a working fire shutter. As the motor slowed down and Paul forgot to switch away from the projector the frame rate dropped then stopped as the sound did a similar "so I'lllll brrrbrbrbrbrb" and there's Frank, in hus bustier, motionless, and the sound stops except that it doesn't, the crowd takes over, screaming and yelling. That's not nearly enough - see that haze forming?

Now Frank's chest is turning dark and the smoke is flowing down - that's how you know it's really happening to the film since it's upside down and backwards, then it actually catches fire a little, with flickers and ash and the frame breaks, leaving a little star shaped flaw right in the middle of the frame, in the middle of Frank. It keeps getting louder, past reasonable levels and into the walls shaking and things falling off of tables mode.


Paul finally notices, or maybe he just gets lucky when he realizes he needs to take the film off the projector and put the correct reel on. He switches it off and after another 5 minutes or so gets the film going again.

I also found out later that the couple up in the booth with Paul weren't drinking. Ah, that explained some of the difficulties. When the show was finally over and the crowd had mostly trickled out Paul came down, not just unapologetic but actively hostile, upset and yelling at the manager before he could even open his mouth. I'm pretty sure it effectively counted as his resignation.

I couldn't help noticing that 1 frame flaw each and every time I saw Frank's big pay-off - working as a projectionist trains you to see 1/24 second frames. I'd try to point it out to everyone, it and the story behind it were a wonderful bit of Neptune color.

We eventually got a new print after 3+ years, which was pretty cool, but losing the perforated frame was kind of sad, like losing track of an old friend.